Friday, May 2, 2008

The Truth Is Out There (Cue X-Files Music)




(Note: The following post is not written by The JK. It is written by Trickah. A female who claims to have knowledge about The JK, not known to the public. Read with suspended belief until I have time to counter this attack on my character.)

JK is full of himself, and you people out here on the internet are not
helping this guy humblify his wacktitude at all. I understand that
people deserve credit where it is due but this guy here, its all a
front. He's actually a three hunnid fiddy pound hairy beast of a man
who sits around in his underpants all day googling up witty things to
say. ZOMG, he annoys me non-stop with his big ass ego...he is 5 brags
away from being BLOCKED! Anyway, I just wanted yall to know the truth
and hopefully this guy will finally get over himself. Oh yeah, if you
ever get the chance to exchange some choice words with this
gobble-dee-goop pelase tell him to GOY (Get over Yourself)

Top 5 reasons JK needs to GOH, Get Over Himself:

5. His music sounds like babies who have mad diarrhea with the booty
water straight blarbling, with 808 beats in the background and some
samplings of old prostitutes queefing.

4. His nudes are totally photoshopped, he uses Extenze but it didn't
work...so he used that stretch/skew tool on photoshop or some shit. He
can't even work the Myspace angles.

3. Hes all up on the internet making his presence known, thats only
because he thinks more exposure equals popularity...WRONG...it equals
interNERD 3.0.

2. He thinks hes so cutting edge, but don't get it twisted. He knows
nothing about nothing! All this smarmy "oh I write" " oh i make music"
"oh i got hoes" "oh i'm so funny" BOO...I seriously think
this guy hasa distorted view of whats what cause let me tell you, If I saw him on
the street, I'd totally jack this foo for all his new fangled gadgets
and whatnot and he'd cry. He'd totally cry and run like a girl.

1. He enjoys reciting Lil Wayne - Lollipop. This song annoys the
SHITCACABOOBOOSTANK outta me!! I cannot stand it, and this guy insists
that it is the greatest song ever made to get girls panty pudding
flowing. I think NOT. Perhaps Lil' Wayne inspires him, perhaps he is
looking for his Birdman? coooo cooooooooo Cash money is an army? Don't
ask don't tell...


So JK, please GOY!!! before you get to 30 and become one of those
douches who are floating off the ground cause their heads so big but
their game ain't proper. (you know i luuuhhhh you bee)

3 comments:

Maren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maren said...

OMFG. Trickah loves The JK!!!

Christopher Reinhard said...

Seriously man, GOY.