Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Teens Yell The Craziest Shit

Doesn't Bill look like Ray Charles mixed with Bert from Sesame Street in this picture?


I was gonna simply call this post project fights but then I wrote Teens Yell The Craziest Shit and it's kinda like Kid's Say The Darnest Things so thats why I did that. I'm cool.

Project fights are events. Fuck Floyd Mayweather, people here in the projects love drama. I know, all I have to do is look outside my window and see this fight that's going on. The only thing missing is the expensive, extra salty stale popcorn. The popcorn that is extra salty just because they want to disguise it's staleness. Fights in the projects make people hype. Kids test out the swear words they learned from the older kids and talk shit about the combatants as if they weigh 220 lb's and train like Rocky did in Russia. And if you lose, these kids will talk shit about you to the point where you will shed at least one Indian tear (you know, the tear that the Indian sheds when he sees a Frito Lay bag land on mother earth or something like that).

It's not like living in public housing is enough. We make shit even harder for ourselves. There is no Don King involved in these fights but we all get shafted. Hold on, I am getting too soapbox preachy. To change the subject back to nonsense, I also saw a Domino's delivery guy do his job while this fight took place. Actually it is still taking place. It's like a marathon fight session or something. There should be a concessions stand or a guy stating that he has peanuts using his outside voice, in fact that is what I will do. I will sell shit during these fights. Actually, I won't, I just thought that sounded good.

But during these fights it's just brutal. Kids want to be bad asses. I know, I was a teenager once. Like last year, I was a teenager. But anyway, these teens yell the craziest shit, start these brawls for the smallest of things. I should know, I am only a year removed from my teens. And we all know that once you turn 20 that your blood is vaccinated by the heavens and the teen gene is removed.

Wow! Someone must have scored a money shot and made someone leak, because the roar of the crowd outside just got deafening. This I bet is one of those fights where you can see what Joe Boxers the fighters are wearing. And if they are fat you can see their stretch marks and shit because their shirts are being pulled up by wild punches and grabs. It sounds like they are fighting in the playground. They are probably slamming each other into the wood chips.

OK, it seems to have died down. This is where they either tend to the wounds they suffered or they play it off because friends are around or they have so much adrenaline coursing through their bodies that they can't feel the pain. They might be putting that red shit that your mom used for your cuts on their booboo's. Losing a fight in the projects sucks, really, it sucks. We don't listen to country music here in the projects. We listen to music that leads you to believe that no rappers have ever lost a fight in their lives. With that said, these rappers dictate our behaviors a lot. When Eminem came out people said that he negatively influenced the young people of America. Maybe he did back then, but what I know now is that rappers nowadays do influence these teenagers and kids. Not every kid, but some.

The projects mixed with rap music created a culture where you better be Chuck Norris in a white tee if you want respect. We don't talk it out here. I didn't talk it out either. I am not innocent, I wanted to be as bad ass as the next kid. Maybe there will be a part 2, to this post. I just squeezed every bit of humor out of it though when I started talking about rappers, so I guess I should end it here.

Oh also, I never told you the crazy shit that these teens say. I won't. It's crazy, believe me. How's that for a cliffhanger? *off to go think of crazy shit that might have been said to cover my ass because the yells were inaudible*

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